What shall I do when everything turns out terrible in my life?
Life is often a roller coaster ride of emotions. We always want to be happy and fulfilled, but unfortunately, that is not possible living in a social world. Sometimes things do not turn out as we have expected. And this happens with all of us.
When everything goes wrong, look at things from the other side, you will find that it can be worse than what has happened now.
So when something terrible has happened in your life, you have two ways to react:
-Firstly you can think why you were chosen to bear the loss and then blame your destiny, circumstances and others for that loss.
Here your focus in on the blame game, guilt, sadness, being regretful, therefore you cannot focus to find out the solution of your problems. Such an attitude leads to the continuation of miseries because your efforts to sort out the issues will not be adequate or sufficient.
-Secondly, you stay calm and then try to figure out the reason why it happened.
If you think the second way here are a few tips to understand the method to figure out the solution of your problems and start living happily again.
You first need to ask yourself:
- What happened?
- How did you initially feel about that situation?
- Why are you the feeling that way?
These questions will help you to pinpoint what exactly happened to you however your hurt feeling might go a little deeper.
When you have the answers, then ask yourself again:
- What is causing your feelings?
- Do these feelings of your go beyond the current events?
- What could be the underlying cause of your feelings?
So if you realise that your feelings do not necessarily stem from this particular situation, then you have some work to do on a personal level to resolve the past feelings that are causing you pain. For this very reason, it is essential that you take under consideration your past hurts throughout this period of self-reflection.
Once you have figured out the reason for your situation you must keep three things in your mind:
-You should know that you have the strength to fight with your problems.
-You need to remember that human beings can make mistakes, so forgive yourself and others.
-Though it is difficult to stay calm in such situations, you are supposed to do that and accept the conditions as they are. You need to keep aside the pain and bitterness for a while so that you can focus on the sorting out the problems.
As the saying goes:
“Whenever something negative happens to you, there is a deep lesson concealed within it.”
Now see where you stand and what you can do. Your efforts can solve your problems.
So to take actions from your current situation, you need to answer a few more questions.
1. What are the things that save you from keeping you in more unhappy conditions?
Whatever has happened, there is always a chance of happening something worse. Think about those situations and the people who suffer from worse problems than yours. Be thankful for your destiny.
2 What resources do you have to deal with the problems you are experiencing?
You need different resources for different problems. The resources can be money, workforce, skills etc.
3 Which are those skills you have not implemented yet?
Though, sometimes we possess all the resources which are required to deal with the problems. We miss to implement them.
Therefore a detailed working should be done to know all the resources you have so that you do not miss any.
4 What are those better options for dealing with the current situation?
Once you have analysed the whole situation, you need to make a better and effective plan to deal with the situation.
5 Do you need guidance or assistance from some specialists?
If you are not able to make yourself a better and effective plan, then it is advisable that you take the guidance from the specialists of that particular area of concern.
By the above steps, you will be able to sort out your problems.
The answers to the above questions will be more useful if you write them. When you write the answers, you easily make the strategy to deal with issues.
Last but not least life is a combination of happiness and pain. Pain is unavoidable, but suffering is optional. Having a broad perspective on life gives you strength to move forward through painful times.
Have a blessed day!