A must know points to make your children aware and safe from getting bullied at school or society.
A few days back I saw Rohit’s name among the top hundred youngest CEO in the country. Though I was happy and proud of his achievement, this was unbelievable for me. The boy, who was so skinny, shy, stammered while speaking in his teens, how he could be so successful in his career.
About 25 years ago, Rohit’s family lived in my neighbourhood; they were simple and modest people. As Rohit was growing, his performance in the class was getting worse. He used to remain sad and did not talk to anyone. He stayed in his room all day long and had no interest in any activity.
For Rohit, is parents were quite worried. So they met his teachers, classmates and school counsellor. They discovered that a few children in school had been teasing Rohit about his looks, his oversized thick eyeglass frame and also for stammering while communicating. Rohit used to get hurt by them when he got irritated.
These days we call this practice as Bullying.
The parents got a shock after knowing that their child had been facing abuse for such a long time. Like everyone Rohit’s parents also brought him up with love and care, so It was harrowing for them to go through such experience. However, they did not give up. And with the help of school teachers, counsellor and doctors they paid more attention to Rohit.
A few days later, people started noticing some positive changes in Rohit. After a few days, Rohit’s father got transfer orders, and all of them shifted to another city and he went all along. Since then, I was not in touch with them, and I did not know that Rohit was in the same city.
It was apparent by his achievements that his parents would have dealt with Rohit’s problems appropriately; otherwise, the future of that child could have been dark.
In schools, colleges and societies sometimes children threaten, hurt and tease other children. Also known as Bullying. Bullying can happen in two ways.
- Children can either cause physical injury to the other or,
- They can mentally or emotionally disturb the weaker ones. This can be making fun of children, teasing, imitating them, by repeatedly calling them with funny names.
The children with whom this happens are mostly either too fat or very thin.
There can be some awkward thing in them like their eyeglasses, their clothes or hairstyles that keep separate them from the other children.
He or she might be a newcomer in the school or physically weak.
They are already victims of depression or low self-esteem in some way.
Such children are not popular and do not have many friends.
Is it necessary to stop bullying?
It is crucial to stop the bullying because the children with whom this happens have adverse effects on them.
In the first place, they become mentally disturbed, and many times they go into depression. They remain unhappy and feel lonely.
Secondly, neither do they want to go to school nor they want to study.
In addition, their sleep and food patterns also change.
Moreover, their grades also fall in studies, and they do not feel like participating in school activities. Sometimes children who are bullied do not share their feelings with anyone because they feel helpless.
As a matter of fact, the children do not tell their parents about bullying because they assume the parents will not be able to help them with this. And it is often true. It is seen that people, in general, do not understand the seriousness of bullying. Sometimes parents are entirely unaware of bullying.
Also, many times Children want to handle the situation by themselves. They are afraid that they will be considered weak. They are also afraid of saying to someone as they feel the complaint might increase their troubles.
Not to mention, Bullying creates a shameful experience for children. They want to hide their experience because of shame. As they feel lonely and believe that no one cares for them. The fear to lose their friends because of bullying is always prevailing within them.
In this way, children have to face many problems.
When should the parents take immediate actions?
First, if the child shows any injuries which he is unable to tell what caused him?
Second, If the children lose their clothes, books or anything else in the school.
Third, often they have a headache or stomach ache due to which they do not want to go to school.
Fourth, The pattern of food and sleep changes suddenly. He often starts eating different food they keep awake at night.
Fifth, The interest in their studies decreases and their grades decline. They do not want to participate in other activities of the school’s separate activities too.
Sixth, Their friends also suddenly become very low, and their self-esteem is also very low.
Seventh, He/She often gets irritated at home, sometimes speaking of escape from home. He sometimes talks about harming himself or herself. If any such symptoms are seen, then parents must take action immediately.
What can parents do?
First, Parents should check their children’s class newsletters for any information related to the school. Parents must also check the school website regularly.
Second, they must visit the events which are taking place in the school.
Third, They should even greet the bus driver well so that he takes care of the child on the bus.
Fourth, Regular meetings with teachers and counsellors are also essential to be updated with the child’s performance in school.
In continuation, usually, children do not tell their parents about the bullying in their school, so it becomes difficult for parents to know. So be communicative with the kids. Talk to them about bullying and tell them how to deal with it.
Also, tell the children that if there is any such incident in school or society, then tell the parents or their teachers about this.
Lastly, tell the children that to be bullied is not their fault, but it is the mistake of those kids who do this. Therefore it is essential to inform the teachers or counsellors in school. If required they should also seek help from a psychologist or counsellor.
How should parents and children deal with bullying?
- In such a case, the parents and the teacher should accompany the children to find a solution to the situation. Explain to your children that they do not fight themselves.
- First of all, parents should make their children feel safe. Explain the way to children that if such an incident happens to them, then what they should do.
- The children should not be alone in school. They should stay with friends. They must not go to the bathroom or a locker alone.
- Parents should tell the children that this is not their fault.
- These children should be separated from bullies in schools.
- To understand what had happened at the time of the incident, parents need to ask other children present at the time of incident separately.
- The parents need to explain to their children tell the teachers if such a thing happens in the class. This is not a sign of cowardice, but a sign of power.
- Early identification prevents bullying. As soon as someone starts bullying, he /she should be immediately stopped otherwise its strength increases and it may happen again and again.
- Therefore, children should be assertive. To say your point with firmness, without fear, without hesitation, respecting your self-esteem and without offending others is known to be assertive. If a child has this skill, then he or she does not face a problem in adjusting it anywhere.
- If the children respond strongly to the bully, the bully gets discouraged. Help them to learn how to deal with such a situation by keeping the right body language. Prepare them to respond with self-confidence.
- Teach them to talk to the bully face to face. Keep a little distance from bullies. When you speak to that bully, take his/her name.
Children can be prevented from bullying in school and society by these steps.